During this great resignation employees are leaving workplaces and listing ‘Uncaring leaders’ as their number one reason (source: McKinsey – Gone for now, or gone for good? ). People are desperate for meaning, values, purpose, kindness and leaders who care.
What if we have to go a step further, and consider that employees are desperately seeking both guidance as well as safe story stewardship for their longing for divinity and wholeness. And with no where else to go they are now searching for this in the workplace.
Let’s go a little back in time. Since I read the book “The Gifts of Imperfection” many years ago, I have had an ongoing quest in the back of my mind regarding ‘Faith’ – what is it to me, where do I find it, how do I cultivate it? This came as a result of one of Dr. Brené Brown’s findings in the book that the most wholehearted people cultivate faith in their lives, making her include guidepost #6: Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith. This has nothing to do with a religion and Brené Brown offers following definition for faith.
Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.
The Gifts of imperfection, Dr. Brené Brown.
More recently Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor talked in her book Whole Brain Living about how our ‘character 4’ on our right brain side already knows about the deep connection we all share. Also the work by Dr. Martha Beck explores how to let go of culturally-derived values, and follow the longing for warmth and yearnings to stay in our own integrity.
Now with Susan Cain just publishing her newest book “Bittersweet” (published April 2022), I have been provided a further addition to the thinking on our inherent longing for that more beautiful place.
I am an avid fan of the work by Glennon Doyle and how she has cut loose from culturally imposed rules of how things “should” be and writes about it so beautifully in her books (Carry on Warrior, Love Warrior, Untamed). So I was very excited to see that Susan Cain went into a conversation about the findings in her book Bittersweet with Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach and Amanda Doyle on their podcast We can do hard Things.
It is a beautiful and stirring conversation – do listen to it yourselves – and it resulted in this post. They talk about how that longing or yearning that we feel in those moments of beauty and sadness remind us of the better world that could be, that it ideally makes us stretch together to build such a world even if we never fully reach it. It reminds us that this feeling of longing and bittersweet is a moment that connects us with each other. This really brought for me the point of faith or a longing for divinity together.
Ok – so that’s all great, but what about the workplace?
In the podcast, they also speak about relationships and refer to a finding from Esther Perel to which I went and found this reference in a another article: “In our modern world, we have the unrealistic expectation that our relationships will fill in for the divine, offering wholeness, transcendence and unconditional love”.
So let’s come back to the workplace – I wonder, did the time at home in the pandemic make us realise that we will not find divinity within our relationships? And so now we are off searching for it in our workplace? And that is why if we are not cared for, looked after, if we are made to feel morally compromised, constantly put in competitive situations to go against each other then employees are leaving or burnt-out or certainly not going to be in a best position for healthy striving.
Why is this important? Because we have to have conversations about it – and as it is even more ambiguous and wishy-washy and touchy-feely than even talking about emotions, I fear many organisations will avoid going there. And at the moment business schools are hardly building strong skills and competencies in this area.
For leaders ready to look at this a bit closer, we do have starting points.
The work by Dr. Brené Brown, published in her book Dare to Lead, showed that courageous, wholehearted leaders have in common that they truly care for and connect with their employees. In daring leadership I work to build courageous, wholehearted leaders and work cultures. And I continue to see this as an important first step for leaders – as it teaches what courage is, how to rumble with vulnerability, why values with behaviours are important, what the elements of trust are and how distancing from the stories our minds make up we can gain resilience. So it means skills to sit with uncertainty are built, there is space for the conversations and for being a learner, not a knower.
The Dare to LeadTM program includes how grief gets in the way of LivingBIG, that is the belief every person is doing the best they can, yet it handles the topic of grief with a lot of caution. And I see grief as part of sorrow and bittersweet, about something that is lost and what it may make us yearn for and stretch for with action.
This is where I believe we have to dig deeper and not shy away from conversations around the bittersweet, grief, nostalgia, beauty. These play a critical part of connecting us with our humanity, our longing, our faith and those emotions awe and wonder. It can put us in communion with each other. Taking from Brené Brown’s newest book Atlas of the Heart – we have to become more confident as story stewards to one another.
If you are looking for something concrete to do:
- Develop your own thoughts, skills and awareness (you can start with books mentioned in this post)
- Get leaders trained to enable safe workspaces, where vulnerability and uncertainty is allowed (eg. the Dare to LeadTM program)
- Business schools – do include new programs so leaders come away with empathy and humility
- Start incorporating and become aware of beauty in your life and workplaces
Although my thoughts here are around the workplace, I believe it is imperative that our education systems and our local governments step up in their responsibilities to engage and enable dialogue on our societies’ values, our moral compass, our desire for communion and connection with each other. As really I am not convinced we want these beautiful, soft issues of humanity to be cared for by large corporate conglomerates.
I leave you with some words from Susan Cain in her conversation with The House of Beautiful Business:
I think it’s possible to admit – not just admit, but embrace – all the bounty of what spiritual longing actually is. That’s completely consistent with deep agnosticism. But we’ve lost sight of that.
House of Beautiful Business. LONGING IS THE SOURCE OF ALL OUR MOONSHOTS, AND ALL OUR LOVE
And if you wonder where I am with my personal quest for faith. I continue to rumble with it, explore, learn and give myself grace whilst doing so. Currently it rests for me around my gratitude practice, the mantra Martha Beck offers “I deserve to live in peace”, my reading of the Tao Te Ching and it’s call to Non-Action, and the Buddhist high virtues of: loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity.
(Clear is kind: I provide links so you can find my sources and find publications. I have no affiliation with any of these external sites or any return from doing so.)
amdeans-consulting.com 